Chewed, Puked & Pooed

He is frustrating me

Constantly re-stating to me

That he is OK

When I can clearly see

He is curled up on the floor

A conscientious objector 

In his internal war

Preferring to feel nothing

Than to be in this purgatory

  The church clock strikes two-thirty

  I'm hot and sweaty

  Making up my furniture

  In my brand new house

  Then Jonny call me

  Jonny never calls me

  So I answer and nine years of pain begin

His tears are soaking my shoulder

My arms are around him but he wants to hold HER

Tell me honestly he told her, she did not need to try 

I mean 'honestly' she cheats but does not lie!

He is worrying me, I've never seen him so connected, dejected - disrespected

Now he's been gutted and rejected

The cut is deeper than I had suspected 

How can I help him from this purgatory?

  The Parisian clock strikes eleven-thirty 

  I am very tired from the travel

  Planning tomorrow's work

  In my hotel bed

  Then what Jess as has done takes over me!

  How could she!?

  I send her a text 'meant for Jonny' so she realises the enormity.

He is empty, retreated, defeated and it scares me

Outside the cathedral he spins a story

About how his life is peaceful

And he only need's God's love

His life was meant for others 

Serving wastrels, drunks and refugees like sisters and brothers

I know that he is lonely

Dragging his guts behind him

Through the filth and the fire of his purgatory

  The sound of Matt's rented keys in the door

  I'm loving being with him

  Not wanting the conversation to be over

  In his cream faux-leather chair

  Then he starts talking about wanting more!

  Finally!

  I grasp at this first straw and decide to be there for him again!

He sees light now, he want's out now!

The stationary nine-year odyssey a painful oddity  coming to an end

My wonderful broken friend uncurling like a leaf in the sun

The road to love, completeness just begun

Nine years of healing, drip feeding his feelings

A fish hooked and being reeled in

He has bitten off and chewed the acid of his purgatorial food

And he has swallowed it and vomited or pooed it out

And now he marches limping out of his purgatory.

  I'm driving in my car

  The four-pips tell me it is 11:00

  Derbyshire is a soaking wet green paradise

  Waterfall a few miles behind

  And I suddenly write this poem in my mind

  So I recite it to my cariad - she sits next me

  God please keep pulling him out of his purgatory!

Nine years gone:

Based on Lyrics by Led Zeppelin

Then as it was, it will no longer be

And though the dam may slow sometimes

Sewers always reach the sea

Foul pains of fortune, each have several scars

On the wings of maybe, blanking out the stars

Kind of makes me feel sometimes, you didn't need to grow

But as this slave escapes the chains, you've not got so far to go

Your struggle fill's my mind, Jonny, that's alright with me

In my heart I think of you, and how you used to be

Did you ever really need somebody 

And really need 'em bad

Did you ever really want somebody 

The best love you ever had

Do you remember living, Jonny 

Was it really so bad?

'Cause you ran away from it

As I knew you - knew you would

Through the eyes that are downcast and averted

No light could ever be seen

Taste love again mate

I want to see your feathers preened

Kind of makes makes me feel sometimes 

You didn't need to grow

But one day you will be eagles in a nest 

The nest that is in your soul

Best friend in a nightmare, deep in purgatory

Never thought I'd see your face 

The way it used to be

Oh Jonny, oh Jonny

I never thought you'd leave 

I never thought you'd stand up

Letting go of nine years gone

Nine years gone, not holdin' on, nine years gone 

Nine years gone, not holdin' on!

(C) Cosmic Gorilla 2017